Eff-You Funds, Dreams of the Single Life, and Manifesting Fire: Conversation with Sisters

Courtney and Dana unpack last week’s episode with publicist Melinda Jackson (Apple Podcasts | Spotify) and her unique approach to public relations, brand consulting, and life in general, including:

  • What’s an Eff-You Fund?
  • What would life and entrepreneurship be like sigle and kid-free?
  • What does it mean to manifest fire?

 

Transcript

Dana: And they look at it like, oh, you’re so successful. You had this amazing event or blah, blah, blah, all these things. And we don’t really even know the behind the scenes of it. We don’t know if they’re sacrificing their mental health to get where they are. And so this just confirming like, oh, I should be always stressed out. I should be like burning the candle at both ends because I’m getting this affirmation from somebody that I don’t really know well, right, tell me I’m doing such a good job.

Courtney: Welcome to hustle and gather a podcast about inspiring the everyday entrepreneur to take the leap I’m Courtney and we’re a two sisters who love business on this show. We talk about the ups and downs with the hustle and the reward at the end of the journey. 

Dana: And we know all the challenges that come with starting a business between operating our wedding venue, doing, speaking, and consulting and starting our luxury wedding planning company.

We wake up and hustle every day. 

Courtney: And today we’re talking, just the two of us, about last week’s episode with Melinda Jackson, owner of Melinda Jackson Public Relations. With over 10 years of experience, Melinda takes an untraditional approach to public relations, branding, and influencer marketing. If you haven’t heard last week’s episode, go give it a listen and come back to hear our thoughts.

Dana: All right Court, let’s get started. 

Courtney: So many little things. Um, She was all over the place, so I feel like this is going to be a little bit all over the place, but I loved how she was talking about when she started her journey and maybe the right way you should do it is to have what she called her fuck you fund, Like when you’re ready to quit your job, you have this money in place, just so you can go out on your own. 

Dana: Or I don’t even think it was so you got on your own. I think it’s just so that you can 

Courtney: just take a break 

Dana: get away from like a was a toxic situation, because any, any job that puts your body into a fight or flight mode toxic situation. I agree. I mean, Uh, is a fuck you fund just like a savings account?

Courtney: I mean, it should probably be like a savings or a money market. It probably shouldn’t be like deeply invested into stock market because you could lose some of that. So maybe like a, like, a low yield, money market account. 

Dana: But I also, when she said that the other thing that came to my mind wasn’t just finances. It was also the, the fuck you fund of favors, like really putting your energy and your, you’ve done favors, rallies, people even helpful for all, all these other situations or other entrepreneurs or other businesses. And it’s like, you’re kind of creating this bank of things that you’re going like, Hey, I’m going to cash this in one day when I really need a favor. 

Look out, people who Dana has things for you. 

I don’t think I have an option to like walk away from the life that I have right now in the business that I have. I’m just saying, like, I think that, that I visually saw that when she said that too, like, cause it’s not just about the money side of things, like yes, it is important.

You got to pay rent, got to pay bills, got to feed yourself, obviously it’s nice to have that, safety net there, but I think there’s also something to be said that with every job you do and every job you’re at, giving as much as you can so that you can tap into the people that you poured into in that job before.

Courtney: Interesting. I kind of see it as like, like live your life in a way that you are not trapped by a certain income or trapped by a certain standard or like trapped by like a house or a mortgage or whatever it is. Do you know what I’m saying? Like, if you kind of position your life in a way to be able to pivot when you have to pivot, I think could also be a version. 

Dana: Well, yeah, I agree. It’s a very, but I mean, we’re talking about some very privileged life right now that there’s some people that just don’t even have the choice, you know. There are people that are too, have kicked the can too far down the line that there’s not many options for them. You know, like, yeah. It’s not, you’re not like a 17 year old starting your life here. Like as a 37 year old, you probably do have a mortgage. You probably do have a family. You probably do have all these credit cards that, yeah, these things you can’t just say, fuck that. Like, 

Courtney: I dunno, Julia Roberts did it in Eat, Pray Love. 

Dana: Julia Roberts did not do that. The person who wrote the book did that. Anyways, I thought it was really interesting that one of the things that I thought was kind of contradicted a lot of what we hear is when she became an entrepreneur, she finally had a life. She had a real life, whereas I feel like a lot of people feel quite the opposite of entrepreneurship. 

Courtney: Yes. But I’ve always said that I want my business to work for my life and not my life to work for my business. And whereas that hasn’t always been the case, I do see hope on the horizon for that. And plus I think, I think people need to feel purposeful in what they’re doing. I think if you really believe in what you’re doing and have a purpose. And I’m not saying like you’re not ever going to work a day in your life. I don’t think that’s true, but I think there is a lot of joy in doing that and it just feels like, Especially as an entrepreneur, when it’s your business, it’s like an extension of your life. And I didn’t anticipate feeling that way. 

Dana: Yeah. But I also feel like too, I was talking to Sam about this the other day because, we were talking about time and he was, he was talking about my time specifically and how I fill my time and I looked at him and I was like, you realize I don’t, I mean, I’m mentally work a lot, like in terms of like, I’m thinking about a lot, I’ll shoot off an email or something, but like the time I’m actually in the office, it’s not a ton of time.

And I think there is this attitude, mentality and the right way to say that is, but because you’re either working or you’re parenting, right? You very rarely have these this time off. So I think about myself, like if I am where I am and I’m a single person. Would I have a more exciting life?

Would I travel more? Would I have the time? Yes. And so I think that there is this, like, you almost lie to yourself in a lot of ways and you look at someone like Melinda, right. And you’re like, wow, like she has a real life and she’s not working 24/7. And I can say, wait a minute, I don’t work 24/7.

I really don’t. I work, I do work a lot and there are definitely seasons, and I’m sure she’ll say the same thing. There are seasons where you’re working a ton, but at the end of the day, I’m working my business, but then I have to go home and deal with people, I still had to deal with people. Like you said, the cook dinner, you still gotta clean the house.

You still got to like do the project at the home, still going to go to baseball games, still going to go to track meets, still had to help with homework. So it, your life is already like, so jam packed full, but I don’t think it’s my business that jam packs it. you know what I mean?

Courtney: Yeah. I mean, I definitely agree with that. I mean, I, we’re in a busy phase of life right now, like having kids and the ages that they are and, it feels busy cause your mind is never off. Like your, even if it’s not at work, it’s, at home, it’s at the schedule. It’s I mean like yesterday Nora had ballet, Mason had a football game to go to, Mikael is coming home from work.

I got roped into being the treasurer for the PTA. The first PTA meeting was like, all at the same time, literally all happening at the same time, And I had to figure out how to get Liam somewhere, Nora to ballet, Nora picked up from ballet. And I think about those days and like, it’s like so many moving pieces. 

And I think this is just motherhood, because like, who is the chess player behind all those moving pieces? It’s me, right, like I navigated all of that, and it was on top of a really busy workday for us. Like we had a big meeting in the morning and then we had a live podcast and I had stuff that I had to get out before that meeting and whatnot, you know, and so I had a, a fundraiser meeting for NACE that morning. And I just think sometimes about like, wow, think of all the things that I’ve done before, like 10:00 AM, like things that I’ve processed or printed off or sent an email about.

It’s probably more than Mikael has done all day, you know, and it’s only 10:00 AM and I’m not like minimizing it, but like that’s part of being a mom and especially being a mom that owns a business. 

Dana: Yeah, I know. I totally agree with that. And I, and I do, I always say a lot that Sam deals a lot with the kids, but he’s not the mastermind behind the schedule. He just executes a schedule that I have created, and then I know in my head. 

Courtney: And great, I mean, and he’s great at that, and I’m like Mikhail nonplussed by all of that, Like he came home from work jumped right in, took him to hardee’s, picked up his friend, like did all the things, let him stay to the end, you know? I mean, great job for sure.

But it is a lot to orchestrate, like not only your schedule, but your team schedule and your kid’s schedule and even your husband’s schedule to some degree. 

Dana: Yeah, 

Courtney: So it feels exhausting sometimes, right. 

Dana: Right. So I think my point is, is I really, really actually appreciate her saying that now she has a real life as an entrepreneur because we can all agree that there are seasons when you question your life choices. There have been long seasons, like years of seasons where you’re working much more than 40 hours, but there’s also seasons of life where you do get to have a real one. And it’s just, just so happens that our real life, it’s parenting. 

Courtney: Coincides with that.

Dana: It’s not going to, you know, a Harry styles concert, 

Courtney: Multiple, she’s been to multiple. 

Dana: I know, 

Courtney: She follows him around. She’s like a groupie. 

Dana: I know, but I love that. I love that that realness of it, cause when you hear talk about it, it felt joyful. And I felt there was like this immense amount of gratitude that you can just glean from her. That that was what she has.

Courtney: Yeah, I often think that I’m like, wow, let’s it would be, I don’t begrudge my kids or anything like that, but what a different life it would be, but I’ve only ever known entrepreneurship in conjunction with kids.

Dana: Right. But that, but I think too, like, I mean, I do not wish time away at all. I am going to be the saddest mom when there are no more kids in my house. And I love, I do love this season. I love seeing them accomplish things, love seeing grow. I love their sense of humor and who they’re becoming, but there is also something really sweet to think about, you know, 50 year old Dana, you know, like who 

Courtney: yeah your kids will all be out.

Dana: All the kids will be out at 50, and what that, what that season of life will look like. 

Courtney: No, I thought that, I thought that was great. I loved her talk about manifestation, how she’s like manifested where she is today, like this life that she has today and how I know it’s a little woo woo. I love how everyone, when they talk about things, like whether it’s like manifestation or it’s like meditation or whatever it is, they all, everyone always prefaces with this is a little woo woo, didn’t you notice that? 

 

Yeah. I loved how She was talking about how she’s kind of manifested where she’s at today, so that life that she’s had and whatnot, how she was going to be in business in 10 years and then 10 years to the date or whatever she was in business.

it’s interesting. I mean, have you, have you ever had that I mean, I know you may not have called it a manifesting, but I have just Put something in the atmosphere and then the atmosphere gave it to you? 

Dana: no, because I actually don’t, I don’t actually believe that. ’cause I, and I, and I, I pushed back on it because as much, at least what you say, like, I believe, I don’t believe in the universe gave it back to me because I take personal responsibility for what happens to me and the choices in my life.

And that is how I got to where I am. So I don’t believe necessarily in, like. Because I think it’s a backup. I think I struggled a lot, with. 

Courtney: like 

Dana: The Christian faith and a lot of ways, because they don’t take personal responsibility for things, right? Like it’s, um, this happened, therefore it’s because the devil is attacking me or, or this good thing happened because I prayed for it.

Or like anytime we would say something and be like, oh, I prayed for you for that. And I’m like, that’s not why that happened. It’s because I like struggled and busted my ass to get where I was going. 

Courtney: Like They’re like they’re taking that credit. 

Dana: Now I believe in manifestation in the terms of, I’m going to say this out loud because I want to own it. And I feel like when you say it out loud and you tell another person and you don’t keep it bottled up, then it becomes real. Like, it becomes a real thing, like a real, a desire, real emotion, a real goal. And I believe it makes you work harder at it. I believe it gives someone else a different perspective and someone else, when they say like, oh my God, I was thinking about you the other day.

And I know how you said you wanted to do this thing and I read this article or whatever, right. So you have all these people like pouring into you and trying to build this dream or this goal that you have said out loud, and then I think it happens. Like, and I think it happens because you take the proper steps, right?

You you meet the right people or you put yourself in a position where, where it can happen, you know? Cause you think, I mean, you even think about things like, like the teaching gig, right. Which hasn’t fully happened yet, 

Courtney: but we could have taken a path where that doesnt hapepn.

Dana: Sure we could, and we could have taken the path from, we met that person and we could have, there could have been a litany of things at different paths we could have taken. And we had the conversation at the Bradford. We could have not followed up on it. We could have not taken time out of our day to actually have that thing, but because we have, we wanted this thing and we said this thing out loud, and it was something that we wanted to do like we made it happen. Do you know what I mean? And maybe that is manifestation is. But I don’t believe the universe it to me.

Courtney: I know, but the way that, like she described it it’s very much like that. It’s like very goal driven, like these 10 steps, I’m going to do these 10 steps and visualize myself in it and this is how it’s going to feel and blah, blah, blah.

It’s not like that for me. It’s literally, it’s not like that for me. When I think about manifesting something I think All the things that you need are inside of you like at the same time, to do all the things that you’re going to do, right. But there’s different times where you are more attuned to yourself than other times.

And I remember just having the conversation of like, it would really be amazing to teach a college course at some point, but not even actually taking the steps to be able to do that. It wasn’t like at that point I was like, okay, I’m going to get my master’s degree and then I’m going to get my doctorate so I can be the professor of X.

Like, even at that time, I didn’t have any idea of like, what would it be that I would even teach because I’m not really qualified at this point to teach anybody anything, right. I’m even having a hard time explaining this concept to you. You go along your life and you do the best that you can do. Like, and we’ve worked hard.

We’ve put her head down and I do feel like we’re experts in some areas. Is it the expert that I thought I would be when I was like 20 and in college? Absolutely not. But I do feel like I’ve been true to myself in our path. And then this opportunity comes and it just brings it all full circle. Do you know What I’m saying.

Cause I, it wasn’t like the Bradford for me, where it’s like, oh, I have a feeling that we’re going to do this one day and I’m going to take all these steps, steps, steps, and then it happened. But it was like, I had, it would be really cool. Like it would really be a life fulfilling moment. And then it happened in a way that I would never have expected 

Dana: Right, but you say all those things and I agree. It’s not like you had this goal in mind, but at the same time, we never got out of academia. Like from like year three, we always had interns. We always dealt with college, right. 

Courtney: You’re just not giving the universe its I telling you, I feel like I have made a compelling argument for manifestation here and you were just refusing to accept it. That is cool. It’s cool. 

Dana: I’m just saying I don’t, I don’t disagree with a certain amount of there’s some amount of luck. There’s some amount of coincidental things. There’s some things that are not necessarily like, you can see how, 

Courtney: Absolutely you have to be poised to take the opportunity. You got to do the work. I’m not saying that the universe is just gonna like knock you upside the head with something. I think that you’ve got to do the work. You got to keep your head down. You got to do whatever the next step is, and then you’re poised to take those opportunities.

You have to make opportunities for yourself. I mean, you really, really do. And you gotta be in the position to be able to capitalize on those. And I’m not saying that we’re not, and I’m not saying that we haven’t worked hard for that, but I am saying this is as woo woo as it gets, and I’m sorry you’re denying the universe it’s due, but I have made a very compelling argument for how this is manifestation.

Dana: Whatever, 

Courtney: and not a 12 step plan. 

Dana: We will agree to disagree on that one. Cause you know, that I’m right, but that’s fine. 

All right. So I feel like we had to talk about this, cause this is a huge part of the episode when she talked about, um, mental health and self-care, and I really do actually believe that entrepreneurs struggle more with mental health than I to say anybody else, but I think it’s more isolating, especially you hearing her talking about how, when she said she was, she lived alone, she worked alone. Like she was alone. And I just remember thinking like how hard it has to be to be a solopreneur. 

Courtney: I think that all the time. 

Dana: Even though I know it’s, it’s hard to be a 

Courtney: though you might be wealthier, as you’ve mentioned multiple times.

Dana: Well, I would be extremely wealthier.

Courtney: So there’s that. 

Dana: Um, but yeah, I thought that was. I don’t know, just a, an important part of the conversation, cause I think mental health is something that there is that kind of stigma and shame surrounded by it. 

Courtney: I think that that’s a real thing for entrepreneurship, for sure. Cause I think for entrepreneurs, it’s not just about your business and it’s not just about, you know, your lifestyle. It’s kind of like one in the same. right? So you’re like, I have a wider net of things that you’re catching in a negative way in, in a positive way, but in a negative way too.

Dana: Yeah. I just think that whenever you pour yourself into something and especially something like growing a business or building a brand or anything of that nature and you, you, you put a part of who you are into it, and anytime you do that and you give away a little piece of your soul, more or less, It’s cause that’s what it feels like.

Courtney: That’s what it feels like.

Dana: It does, cause it feels like you’re giving away time. You’re giving away opportunities. You’re giving away money. You’re giving away all of these things that you just feel, and and you’re not getting that reward back. Like you’re not getting the assurance that you’re doing the right thing. I think it really like really fucks with your head in a lot of ways.

Courtney: I feel that way now. Like there’s even aspects of our business where I am doing it out of obligation or, you know, it might be what’s needed and I’m the obvious choice, and I literally feel like, and I think I’ve said to Dana before, like I just feel like that took a pound of flesh.

Like I literally feel that way. and I’m like, I, this is not what I’m supposed to be doing right now. Like I know it, I think that’s, self care. I think being, I think being able to recognize, like, there’s definitely going to be times where you have to do things that you don’t love to, like for a season to get to another level or a location or like you ha I think every entrepreneur has to like, suck it up buttercup and get to the other side sometimes, and that’s cool, but living a lifestyle like that is not sustainable. And I think being aware of those things, like as an entrepreneur, like, what do you love about it?

What are you good at? cause you should just be doing what you’re good at and what you love Ultimately, Right? Cause that’s how you’re going to best serve your business and your employees and clients that they serve or the products or whatever it is that you’re doing. Uh, but I think that. um, I think that’s hard though.

I think it’s hard. really, really 

Dana: Well, I this visual really struck me when she was talking and she was, cause we were talking about how she had disordered eating. Right. And that when she was going through a really hard time, and she just basically stopped just wasn’t hungry than eat enough, and she lost a lot of weight. Everyone’s like, you look so good. You look so good. 

I think about that. And I think about when you see people. And we, and we have people in our industry. Right. And you look at them and you say theyre doing so much, like they have this, this, and people think that about us all the time, actually like one more thing, one more thing or whatever. And they look at it like, oh, you’re so successful.

You had this amazing event or blah, blah, blah, all these things. And we don’t really even know the behind the scenes of it. We don’t know if they’re sacrificing their mental health to get where they are. And so this just confirming like, oh, I should be always stressed out. I should be like burning the candle at both ends because I’m getting this affirmation from somebody that I don’t really know well, right. Tell me I’m doing such a good job, right? 

Like that was kind of like the, what I thought of when she was talking about that. Like how much we praise people for overworking. You know, and honestly, I mean, we, like, we talk about the hustle all the time and always hustling, always hustling. And I mean, I don’t begrudge our hustle, but sometimes I’m like, do I, I get affirmed all the time that people like, oh, what do you do? How do you sleep? Like, how are you doing one more thing? How are you doing this? How are you doing that? Like, and it’s just this almost a badge of honor. 

Is that the right one? If I were to say it where you’re like, it is part of the identity, where like if you slow down and you have a day off, you’re just like I don’t, not that I don’t know what to do, cause I do know what to do. I do nothing and I sit and watch a whole season of the morning show, which I did two weeks ago.

But like, I, you don’t know how to respond to anybody. You don’t know how to be anything, but the one that has severe anxiety and bouts of depression and whatever. 

Courtney: I hear that. Cause I mean, we’ve had a couple of people, our industry that have recently had babies and whatnot and they do look amazing.

Like literally have like drop the weight like crazy and they’re like going, going, going. And then I think back to what I had Liam and we, I dropped the weight and it was everyone’s, oh, you look amazing. And I was like, the smallest I’d been since like college, it’s because I was starving and like, I was burning so many calories while trying to breastfeed a baby and do so many things.

Like it was so stressful that it wasn’t lack of eating. We ate a ton, but like, we literally could not consume enough compared to the amount of output that we were putting out. And I’m like, are they in that position, like, are they just literally like in survival, you know? 

Dana: Yeah, right. But there is something about about that, where it makes you like, want to take a look at it and to think about what you say before you say it. And when you look at somebody who just had a baby or who is, you know, kicking ass and taking names, but not to be like, oh my God, like you’re, you’re not celebrating that hustle necessarily, cause you don’t really know what’s behind it. 

Courtney: All right, last thing to talk about is I love when she was talking about like anxiety versus intuition, which are both kind of Putting something out there that isn’t there. Do you know what I’m saying? That isn’t like necessarily real, but a feeling, um, and how she, it really tries to determine whether this is like a scarcity mindset that she’s coming from, like it’s a fear out of scarcity or is it something that I really, I know this isn’t something I’m supposed to be doing. I thought that was like really poignant. 

Dana: It is. I feel like it’s something that happens as you get older and I, and you, you have to practice it. I think, I don’t think it’s just like, oh, you turn 30 and this is what you think, at all. 

Courtney: I imagine it’s not, 

Dana: But I think it’s something and it’s one thing that being entrepreneurial, it helps you kind of practice and flex those kinds of muscles. But I, I do feel that a lot of times, and I’ve, I’ve gotten to a habit of like what I want to fire off an email. Cause I’m just like, You know, just fucking pissed about something like last week, and we’re sitting in the coffee shop and we’re at tap, tap, tap, tap, tapping away. And I was like, and you’re like, we don’t have time to finish it, close it.

And I looked at it later and I was like, I was writing that out probably out of a scarcity mindset out of fear and out of frustration. And this needs to go back to what’s the whole point of this, the whole point is I want to make two very clear points and they don’t have to be emotional. And I was making it very emotional and in my intuition and my gut was telling me, like, you need to let this go.

You need to let go how you feel. It doesn’t matter how you feel at all. Doesn’t matter if they know how you feel. It doesn’t matter if they know anything about anything other than these two things that you need to say, you need to say them out loud so that it can be a point of a conversation. And you need to say in a way that’s not, it doesn’t make them defensive.

Right, and that’s it, you know? So you had this three page email that went down to three paragraphs, right. But I think in the past, I would’ve just sent it, you know, but it’s, it’s taking that, that step back and I’m not as quick. I can’t look at a situation immediately and say, is this my anxiety? Is this, this is my fear. Is this what I think I ha I really have to take time to like, process it. 

Courtney: Well, I mean, I don’t have like, it’s like time, but when I feel an emotion, I feel big emotions. Like, I feel like I don’t have small emotions, either have no emotion or big emotions. So if I’m feeling emotional about something, I mean, I, not a second don’t listen to that, but like, I have to move beyond that emotion because I’m not used to processing that like on the regular.

But I, I, when I think about when she said that a scarcity mindset versus do I really, if this really what I’m not supposed to be doing? It’s when you say yes to something and you really should have said no, like Maybe that is not your ideal client or like, maybe that’s not the next step that your business should, go in. like, just because it’s a possibility doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you to do.

And are you operating out of fear of nothing else coming along or like missing an opportunity or are you able to trust your gut? Like if I hold off on this, something better is going to come down the pipeline.

Yeah, 

Dana: and sometimes I still struggled to see the, the outcome and some things like, so for example, we did this planners, brunch, right? And I remember we were doing the tour and they’re talking about it and I loved the person we met with like the person giving the tour of the venue and we just really clicked. And she had mentioned this thing and I, my, my first thought was, I don’t want anyone else to plan this.

Like, I want us to plan this. I personally was not like, this’ll be fun to do, you know, but I did, I felt like I said, yes, and a slight sense of fear of like, I didn’t want anyone else to have this opportunity. Like, I want this opportunity because I want to be here. I want our people to be here, you know, and you know, and it was, uh, it was a, great event and it was wonderful and it was a lot of fun and like, I enjoyed the whole thing, but the outcome for me was just, Hey, maybe we’ll get three or four events here. Right, and out of it came like a great friendship and possibly a great partnership, and I was like, I just, I knew in my gut and my intuition that it was the right move like initially.

But then after I started thinking about it, honestly, in the middle of it, and I was like, oh my goodness, like did we say we were going to do this because of, we were, I was just fearful of scarcity? The other planner was going to get it and I wanted to do it. Do you know what I’m saying? Like, it wasn’t like I didn’t have that very thorough thought out, like what the outcome of it’s going to be. I just knew what I wanted in that moment. 

Courtney: There was no way of knowing it. And I think that like one, I thought that was a great move. and I think it’s going to end up being a great move for our company. And I think that you were definitely one of those like right position, right time, situation and then it’s moments like that. For me, like, especially in our partnership where I’m like, 

Dana: you manifested it, 

Courtney: you did, oftentimes I’m like Dana’s dragging us Into something else. Like Dana has said yes again, when really we should have said no, because I am much more quick to say no than Dana is, and I’m glad that we didn’t. And, but it was a lot of work in the middle of like a really busy season, Um, but I feel like we didn’t take any shortcuts in it.

Like We did it all the way, like we did it the way that we would’ve wanted any of our girls to do it times 10, right. And now we really showed up in a big way. And I feel like this is one of those opportunities, like that particular opportunity. And I put this on our story today, where it says, be the fire and wish for the wind. 

Like, be you be fire, your head down, do the best you can do like build it up, build it up. And then those opportunities to come, and then when that wind hits the fire, like it is unstoppable. And it was just one of those times where like you were fire on that, right. And They saw that, right, and the opportunity to like really make that into something big has come along.

I’m not saying that this is not a manifestation thing. I’m not that wasn’t at all, a manifestation thing, not the same thing, because I don’t think everything is woo woo, but it was definitely a head down, work hard put myself in a situation that was a good opportunity, no matter how it went And just because it might’ve just been a small thing for our company didn’t mean you were going to give it a small amount of of energy.

I’m still going to, if I’m going to say yes, I’m going to show up the way that I’m going to show up. 

Dana: Right. 

Courtney: And Dana always shows up in a really big way. But I definitely think you can approach things, you can’t say yes to something just because you’re afraid to say no. 

Dana: Yeah, I agree. I agree. And I think for me sometimes I, it’s not that I’m afraid to say no, because I don’t think I’m afraid to say no. I think sometimes I get confused with what do I really want to do? And because I, Im probably a little bit more apt to be helpful, I guess, to look at somebody who’s saying I need something and I’d be like, yeah, I can help you. I can do that. Right. And how much of it is 

Courtney: I swear, she almost got sucked into planning a wedding yesterday on the phone. I’m like, is Dana about to sign up for this wedding? 

Dana: And I did. I, I, I dialed it back. 

Courtney: did she doubted back. but I was like, what, what are you doing? I’m about to intervene, here, intervention. 

Dana: But I have a hard time. I think there is that I think there is a slight fear of not being who I say I am. Do you know what I mean? I mean, I think I’m a helpful person. I think that I like to be there for people. I think that I, I enjoy being the one that like steps in and does something when someone else couldn’t do it, you know, like, and I love doing things a hundred percent.

Like I cannot stay in, I can’t even be around things that are like, half-ass like, I just can’t, I can’t, I can not deal. It, like just gets under my skin. And like, this is probably one of the hardest things I have, like, you know, sometimes assisting on weddings and you’re just like, oh, if we just did this, like what, 10% more, it would be a hundred percent.

You know, and so there, there is a lot of times that I’m like, am I, I’m afraid of not living up to who I say that I am when I, when I recognize that, just because I say no, or I don’t jump into that thing. That doesn’t mean that I’m any of those things, any less, 

Courtney: I hear what you’re saying. And I definitely think you should be helpful. I’m not saying that. I mean, like we went and did somebody rehearsal one of our girls rehearsals today, like really no big deal, but would have totally been a big deal, if I had my own wedding that I was working today or whatnot, and I think that sometimes you have to recognize like where you’re at, like the season in life in the way that you can be the most helpful is to keep yourself the most free and available to help in an emergency situation or whatnot.

And it’s different. It’s very different being someone’s planner than managing planners, like it’s a different mental load. It doesn’t allow you to see the big picture. And I think that you are either going to be a great planner or you’re going to be a great manager, but you can’t really be both, you know? And I think where we’re at and the people that are beholden to us or that we’re beholding to really is much greater, To be able to be that great manager. So I think it’s really important to keep yourself like free, like both creatively and time-wise as much as you can to be able to step in when you are needed, but not over commit because I think that you’re not doing anyone any favor, You’re not doing them a favor and not the client A favor not yourself a favor, not your partner, a favor. None of it. 

Dana: Definitely not your partner. 

Courtney: Definitely not your partner. 

Dana: Yeah. 

Courtney: Yeah. 

Dana: Yeah. That was a great episode. I thought she had so many great little things. I loved, I loved her a candor. 

Courtney: Yeah. Oh yeah. She was a lot of fun. 

Dana: It was not fun. 

Courtney: Thanks everyone for gathering Best today to talk about the hustle, For our episode with Melinda, we picked a whiskey, ginger.

We hope you’ll get a chance to make it this week and cheers to the universe. To learn more about Melinda and her business. Visit Melinda Jackson, pr.com or follow her on Instagram at Melinda Jackson PR and at Melinda Gale. 

Dana: And to learn more about our hustles visit C and D events.com. The Bradford nc.com hustle and gather.com and Anthem house.com.

Or follow us on Instagram at Sandy events at the Bradford and see at hustle and gather and at Anthem house. And if you liked this show, be sure to subscribe and leave us a rating and review. 

Courtney: This podcast is a production of ear fluence. I’m Courtney 

Dana: and I’m Dana 

Courtney: and we’ll see you next time on hustle and gather

Full Episode Transcript

Hustle and Gather is hosted by Courtney Hopper and Dana Kadwell, and is produced by Earfluence.  Courtney and Dana’s hustles include C&D Events, Hustle and Gather, and The Bradford Wedding Venue.

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