When you see Rachel DeAlto now, you see a success story – a relationship expert who’s been on Married at First Sight and Oprah, and published in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. What you won’t see is what happened before the success – a law career that went nowhere, a failed startup, and a messy divorce. She thought that she wasn’t allowed to be successful – until a coach called her out on her BS.
Rachel DeAlto is a communications expert, media personality, keynote speaker, and the author of relatable: How to Connect with Anyone Anywhere (Even if It Scares You).
Transcript
Rachel: I always view like really good partnerships, business or romantic, it’s like, you have a great base, you got a good trunk and then your branches go all out wherever you want to go. But you always come back to the roots.
Dana: Welcome to Hustle and Gather, a podcast about inspiring the everyday entrepreneur to take the leap. I’m Dana
Courtney: and I’m Courtney.
Dana: And we are two sisters who have started multiple businesses together. And yes, it is as messy as you think. Because we know that starting a business, isn’t easy.
Courtney: I mean, we’ve done it four times. And on this show, we talk about the ups and downs of the hustle and the reward at the end of the journey.
Dana: And we love helping small businesses succeed, whether that is through our venue consulting, speaking, or team training, we love to motivate others to take that big leap.
Courtney: You could just use our misadventures to normalize the crazy that is being an entrepreneur, because every entrepreneur makes mistakes,
Dana: but we like to call those unsuccessful attempts around here.
Courtney: And we know it’s just part of the process. And today we’re learning from Rachel DeAlto, a relationship and communications expert, media personality. And speaker. She is the author of “Relatable, How to Connect with Anyone, Anywhere, even if it Scares You.” Rachel is known as a people whisperer and has worked with many organizations and individuals worldwide, helping them to develop their leadership, improve teams, and create stronger interpersonal skills. Rachel, welcome to Hustle and Gather.
Rachel: Hey, thanks for having me.
C&D: We are so excited to have you have you. We have a mutual friend. We were just talking about, Rachel Sheeran and that’s how he got connected.
Rachel: She’s the best. I, I love her to pieces.
C&D: I know. It’s like the value of connection there.
Rachel: Yeah. Right there.We’re proving it. Relationships are everything.
C&D: Yeah. So, tell us a little bit about yourself and then we went and dive into your background. So tell us what you do and share with our viewers who you are, et cetera.
Rachel: Yeah. Well, as you, as you mentioned, I am a speaker and an author, and I really focus on those interpersonal relationships. So whether it’s a disconnected team or unengaged employees, or just people looking for that motivational and those sparks to be reignited, especially in organizations is kind of my, my main focus right now.
C&D: Yeah, that sounds, that sounds like it would be, super timely. Cuz I think that there’s probably a huge need for reconnection, especially, and probably a big disconnect in organizations at the moment.
Rachel: Absolutely. Work is completely changing. So every organization is trying to figure out how do we make this work? How do we make work again? Because people are wanting different things. I, you know, there’s a lot of bad things that came outta the last two years and horrible situations that we’ve had to deal with, but there’s also some kind of amazing things in the way that we’re looking at life and that we’re shifting our priorities.
C&D: Yeah. My husband actually works for corporate and he moved full time home and he’s such a homebody like, and he loves it, but he had this really big project and he was really struggling with his teammates. And I told him, I was like, you. Even as a boss, like we have half, our team is in office and half our team is remote.
We only see ’em like two or three times a year really. I was telling him whenever I feel that friction, I realize I need to spend time with them because I have forgotten who they are at the core of who they are. All I’m seeing is that, that email that annoyed me or that quip on the phone that I’m like, what in the world is she trying to say?
And I have forgotten who they are. And I was like, and that’s it. You know? So maybe you need to go back to the office at least one day a week to spend with your team to remember what you liked about them in the first place?
Rachel: Yeah. And, and we see it over and over again where people who are in person, we do. We build better relationships. If you can get in front of somebody physically in front of them, it completely changes the dynamic. So yes, we can be effective hybrid and we can be effective virtually. But there’s definitely a stop point.
It’s kind of like, I, I had my, you know, start in the dating space and you can’t stay online forever. You can absolutely build a connection and flirt and, and meet and, and have this, you know, budding relationship. But if you don’t take it offline, it doesn’t go anywhere. And it’s the same thing when it comes to these workplace relationships, it’s, you can build kind of that foundation, but you and I, all, we all know when you’re in front of somebody and you actually get to be personal and, you know, get beyond like just the task at hand, it changes the relationship so much.
C&D: Yeah. So tell us how you got to this point, right? Like where, like where did you come from and then how are you now? This interpersonal expert?
Rachel: You know, it’s, it’s a weird windy road. I was a lawyer, which, I’m I think I still have a little bit of loans left that’s,
C&D: Still paying for that.
Rachel: Like forever, but yeah, so I was actually a lawyer. I was a litigator and came up with an idea for a dating company. And this is back, my gosh, it’s almost 15 years ago. And so it was pre-apps and came up with this idea and actually launched the idea, took a private placement, and we got this attention from everywhere. We were in the New York Times, we were in the Wall Street Journal, Oprah called it was her last season.
C&D: Hmm. Wow. That’s crazy.
Rachel: Crazy like startup, you know what I mean? When that the, like the startup dream of press, and press was great, but the, the sales were terrible, but I kept getting these, you know, TV appearances where I’d go on and talk about the company. And then the producers would call me and say, wait, you know, you’re very well spoken on television, come back and give us your opinions. And I said, I have opinions on everything. what do you want me to talk about?
So I’m telling you I was a parenting expert I was like don’t my children would disagree on that one., but there was all these, you know, segments that I did, and it just led me to this route of personal development and went into the, the dating space for a while on TV and was a relationship expert on shows like Married at first sight. And then really shifted into that kind of, every step has led me into these deeper levels of relationships and personal development. And so it’s kind of, there’s a trajectory but it’s definitely been windy.
C&D: So when did you say, like, hang up the lawyer hat and say, well, this actually, isn’t what I wanna do and I wanna pursue this? And was there something that triggered that?
Rachel: Yeah, it was the company. So this was back in 2010, I wanna say. Yeah, 2010 was the last year that I practiced law at all. And I started this company, and the intention was to still practice and run the company on the side. And then it just became, as you know, sometimes the, the organization takes over and you just don’t have the time. And so I went full focus on that and then, yeah, never practiced again, technically I’m retired in the state of New Jersey.
C&D: Mm, okay.
Rachel: I should be like out hitting golf balls or something.
C&D: Right. So obviously you’re not running this company now, and you’re saying that we had great press and you had like all this buzz, but then the sales were terrible. So like what happened in that realm?
Rachel: Bad timing.
C&D: Bad timing?
Rachel: It was a physical product. It was a physical product that had an online component and they were flirt cards. And we had this idea because apps didn’t exist yet. It was just, you know, main websites, and then there was still like missed connections on Craigslist and things like that, where people were connecting.
And so we came up with this idea and it launched in 2010. And then that around that time is when Tinder came out and all of these app-based products came out, and we’re this baby company with a, you know, a tight, a decent investment, but also comparatively, you know, just didn’t have the pivot capabilities and we just got squashed.
So, and the concept itself, even before the apps came out, wasn’t really gaining traction. It was more the idea of it, but it never really translated.
C&D: So how did you handle that? Cause you quit your job?
Rachel: Horribly
C&D: okay.
Rachel: I had survivor’s guilt. That was the weirdest thing, because like we took out, we took on investments and launched this company and the company didn’t succeed and I never took a paycheck. I never took like every ounce of money that we took in was meant like through marketing and all of these investment into the company.
And so I also was going through a divorce at the time with my ex-husband who was my partner in the company. It was just messy. So I had left law, I had left my relationship, and now I have two kids and no real career, except for these people asking me to coach them. And I’m thinking, what the heck does that mean?
I’m a, I’m a lawyer running a dating company. I can’t play soccer. Like I’m not coaching you in anything. I’m terrible at sports. And so I just pivoted into this, but then still had this kind of guilt around because a lot of that coaching and a lot of that exposure was because of the company I’m like, but the company failed. And so it really messed with my head for a while where I thought I can’t, I’m not allowed to be successful because the company didn’t work.
C&D: Wow. That’s really deep.
Rachel: Yeah. I went through some stuff
C&D: Yeah. So how did you get out of that?
Rachel: You know what? I honestly had a coach who called me out on it. And I just remember, I’ll never forget. I was sitting at my kitchen counter in my rental, where I had, you know, gotten to, to go through my divorce and she was talking to me and she’s like, why, why aren’t you pushing this? Why aren’t you, you know, trying to push yourself out there more. Why aren’t you talking more about yourself and promoting yourself. And I she’s like, it sounds like you’re, you’re feeling guilty and I’m like, oh my gosh,
Rachel: I never put it together, and so it was having this kind of external person, cuz I didn’t have the network that I have now. I had these amazing people around me now, amazing friends, entrepreneurs.
And we all know how important it is to have those sounding boards, but I didn’t have anybody. And it was this coach that I had hired. I couldn’t afford her. And she just said, you know, obviously, you know, that company did lead you to where you are, but you created these opportunities.
Rachel: You being you took you from a to B, they didn’t provide that to you. And so I had to start to look at it differently.
C&D: Yeah. Okay. I think that’s just like a normal thing to struggle with too. I don’t know. It’s like, it’s like a touch of, to me sometimes it’s a touch of guilt. It’s a touch of imposter syndrome. Like, especially when you get into that consulting co like coach world, like you, when you mentioned like, oh, my kids wouldn’t label me as a parenting expert, you know, like, And I do feel that. Yeah, but there’s so many things that I think you have to almost get over yourself in a lot of ways to say, like I could, I, I still can have a clear thought, even if it’s not something I’m practicing in my life right now. And a lot of times people say that I’m like, well, my life isn’t like yours. Like I see, I see a different path for you. Like my path is different just because I’m saying this is a good path for your company doesn’t mean it’s a good path for my company. It’s not like a one size fits all and you can kind of see the different nuances when you’re as an entrepreneur cause you’re exposed to so many things, but
but at the same time, like you’re still kind of operating in the same vein that you started the company at this point, right? Like it’s all about those relationships and interpersonal connections and whatnot. And that translates to things other than the dating realm, obviously. So you’re kind of capitalizing on these skills and going out and talking to people and educating people, being an expert. So, but how was that? Like when your companies fail, but yet you’re still seen as the expert at this?
Rachel: Well, I never said I was an expert at entrepreneurship. and honestly, I think anybody who can say that, I was like, I, I wanna see their books, but yeah. You know, it was a different thing. I just, because I never questioned my abilities. Like I never questioned my abilities within the relationship space, even as a lawyer, I was AMA and this, this is so not humble, but I was an amazing mediator, you know, that was really one of my larger skills sets and getting people to get along.
And basically all I’m doing is just translating that into a different position. So I never felt like an imposter in my knowledge of relationships, but I did feel like an imposter with like, I don’t deserve to be here., I should be, you know, running this company into the ground, which it did by itself.
Rachel: I tried to keep that sucker alive. So that’s really where that, that feeling came in. But yeah, in terms of my, my knowledge bank of relationship stuff is like, no, that, that stuffs easy. That guy can do it in my sleep it’s the other stuff that’s scary.
C&D: Okay. You’re so you like, so you went through all this like time where you’re like, okay, like this has failed and you realize you’re starting to like, kind of go back up the, the mountain, I guess, to say of success. Like what, how did you, how did you get there and like what, what was that journey like?
Rachel: That was a weird thing too. So I started off coaching. I, I didn’t even realize that it was a, a, like a possibility. So, as I said before, I never realized coaches really existed and went back and got certified as a coach. And so I started working with people, realized that wasn’t a hundred percent my jam, but I loved TV.
I love television. I had so much fun on it, and it never felt like work. And every time the camera turned on, all of a sudden I could be, I could feel horrible and then put the camera on. It’s like, oh my gosh, I am on. So I started doing so much TV for free. I would, I remember I would fly, like I would be going to you know, California or Miami or somewhere for a conference or something for work or business or something development related, and I would, I would go do whatever station it was, you know, whatever whoever would have me on.
And so I started building this TV repertoire, and that’s really what led me to kind of my next job, which was being, you know, a full-time expert on Married at First Sight. I was on for a few seasons. All of a sudden I’m making double what I was making as a lawyer. And I’m doing television. I’m like, this is the best thing I’ve ever done. Like, this is a ma I get makeup done as part of my job?
C&D: right.
Rachel: And then that ended and I gave myself no fail safe because once again, I jumped full into it without any thought of like, I’m like, oh, this is forever, and then it was not. And then I had to rebuild again. And so I feel like there’s just all these ebbs and flows and peaks and valleys. it was just this wild ride of somehow I got to here.
C&D: I, but I think that that’s, and we literally just talked to somebody about this the other day. I think that’s a lot of entrepreneurship is that constant reinvention of who you are, where you’re going, the path you’re going on, because it just isn’t, it’s never clear. It’s not like, okay, you’re gonna do A, and then you’re gonna do B and then you’re gonna do C it’s like you go all over the place to figure out and make your own kind of unique journey path.
Rachel: And it sounds like you guys had a bunch of businesses that you’ve built together. And my business has always been me. It’s just reinventions of me.
C&D: which I love that. Yeah, I mean, cause I think when it comes down to it, a lot of times it is like, and we, and we’ve kind of forayed into the, our current business is us, right? Like we are doing some coaching and consulting and training and helping other people kind of achieve those milestones in their business. And it is a whole different animal when you’re not selling a product or a service per se, but you’re really just selling your expertise and your mental prowess, you know?
Yeah. But the hard thing is the partnership, and we, I think this is kind of like if like real transparent, where we are in our partnership now is like, we, like what I feel very passionate about isn’t necessarily always what Courtney feels really passionate about. but because I feel passionate about it. Courtney’s like, all right, I’ll do it with you. It’s fine. You know, like, you know, like, and there’s a lot of that like give and take. And so there’s sometimes there’s those things where you’re, you want to reinvent yourself?
Like you wanna say, okay, this is where I wanna go, but it’s not your decision. I’m only half of it. And so there’s a lot of, but there’s been a lot of those conversations, truthfully at the end of, you know, this past quarter of like, okay, is this a time where we need to diverge some, like, you know, obviously we’re not ending a partnership, but like, maybe like, this is your realm, this is my realm, and we come together here and, and, you know, for us, it’s like, you know, taking off like the, you know, training wheels, a lot of ways like that kind of security of each other. It is hard. And I envy sometimes those solopreneurs, I get to say, you know what, fuck this. I don’t wanna do this anymore.
Rachel: I quit.
C&D: go was gonna, I’m gonna go this way. Peace out.
Rachel: Yeah, but you also have such an amazing built-in sounding board. So that makes me jealous. I was like, oh, that would be so cool to have somebody to do this with, because it’s part of the reason why Rachel, our, our mutual friend and I became super close, super-fast. Cause we’re like, oh my gosh, like I get you. We’re on the same wavelength. We have similar ideas and goals and dreams and all these things. And finding someone like that. I’ve been doing this for 12 years now, and it’s been very rare to find people who you feel like you’re on the same wavelength with, you know, even if you have different branches,
I always view like really good partnerships, business or romantic, it’s like, you have a great base, you got a good trunk and then your branches go all out wherever you want to go. But you always come back to the roots.
C&D: So what brought you to writing your book?
Rachel: Well, it’s funny. So Married at First Sight, that ended, and again, it felt like the rug was pulled out and so immediately I’m like, okay, we have to earn some income. I got back into coaching, which I hadn’t done for a while. And I’m like, this is not my jam. Just not a fan of it.
I had done some speaking, I’d done a couple TEDx and started, you know, being paid to speak as a keynote, but never really focused on it because the TV stuff was always front and center. And so I was like, you know what, I’m gonna lean into speaking, speaking I can control I’m the person in charge of, you know, marketing myself and putting myself out there and booking and all of these things.
I was sitting there and I’m like, I really have to come up with what is my thing? What’s my idea? And that’s where relatable came up, because I was actually grown from Married at First Sight, when I left there, I was getting thousands of messages. I mean Married at First Sight fans are legit, the most dedicated humans on the planet.
I mean, they’re still the base of my followers. You know, I have a really great following on Instagram and I’m guaranteeing 80% of them are still from Married at First Sight. So they kept messaging me and saying, why did you leave? You were the most relatable expert, and that was the same word that kept being used over and over and over again, I was like, what does that mean?
And, you know, obviously there’s a definition to it, but also I think there’s a feeling to it. And that’s where I was saying, okay, that’s, that’s kind of what I wanna teach people is how to be more relatable. And so that’s what led to my keynote, became relatable, and that was kind of how I tested that idea. And then realized oh, no, this works.
C&D: Yes. Hmm, Hmm.
Rachel: It translates, and so then I wrote the book, and then COVID swooped in and said, here’s some time, I’m gonna cancel all of your speaking gigs that you’ve just leaned into 20, I was like 2020 is my keynote year, did not happen. And so gave me that opportunity to sit down and actually write and feel unrushed. And it was kind of awesome to have that purpose within that time.
C&D: That’s awesome.
Rachel: Yeah, it was weird how it worked out. I was like, I, I, again, I hate, I hate saying that, you know, I, I hate talking about good things that happened in the last couple years, cuz I do have so much empathy for those who went through really hard times, but it was kind of just like this perfect timing. Cause I can’t imagine I’m try. I tried to write an article this week. it took me like three days, you know, and when I was writing the book, I had so much time.
C&D: So obviously we, there’s been many, you know, ebbs and flows in your career and, it’s I like to say it’s a windy path and you’ve had a windy one. Did you have any particular moment where you were just like in general, like, oh shit. What have I done? Like the biggest one for you? What was that? The biggest moment where you were just really second guessing your life choices?
Rachel: So, this is gonna sound really weird, but even amongst all of it, I never second guessed anything, but I also think that might be a character flaw.
C&D: Okay.
Rachel: Because I have, some of my friends, they second guess everything. And I, again, I try to be very empathetic towards people, but that is a shoe I’ve never stood in. I’ve never, I’ve kind of always been like, I’ll deal with the fallout before I second guess any decisions. I have no problem, like listen, things have not always gone according to plan. I’ve had those oh shit moments.
C&D: Yeah.
Rachel: But I’ve never had a, let me turn back the clock
C&D: Where do you think that came from? Like that kind of confidence?
Rachel: I don’t know. Like, delusion? I don’t know. like, I honestly have no idea now that I think about it. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that before or thought about it, but yeah, no.
C&D: Well, it sounds like you live very much in the present to me. Yes, like it sounds like if you’re not living in regret or you’re not like, oh, let me turn back that clock or whatnot. It’s just kind, okay. Here we are now. And how what’s the next step forward?
Rachel: Yeah. Like, I guess there’s, there’s things, nothing about my career. Like there’s moments of regret and whatnot, where I was like, oh, I’d probably do that differently, but I don’t like to think about what you could have done differently. I like to think about like, how do we fix the problem that’s in, in front of us.
And I’m, I’m really good under pressure of, you know, things could be burning around me. I’m like, nope. Okay. So first we’re gonna put out that fire and then we’re gonna stop that and then we’re gonna make sure this happens. And so
bad shit has happened to me in my life. But it’s always like, okay, I can compartmentalize and like, figure out like, what’s the next step moving forward, but I’ve never really thought about like the past. I’ve never. I’ve never had those moments. I think my parents are normal people. I think they don’t have that weirdness, but
C&D: yeah, I know. That’s super interesting. And I, and I’ve met a couple of people like that, and I think that they are like, I don’t even wanna say they’re the eternal optimist, cuz it’s not like, they’re the one that thinks everything’s wonderful and perfect, but it is something like, okay, we just gotta get through this and let’s, and there’s, there is a way out like, you know, I can, I can see maybe a dot of light and I’m gonna just keep walking towards that dot till it gets bigger and bigger. And make myself out of this hold that I just created or whatever.
Rachel: Yeah. I like to think of as like pragmatic versus optimism, like, I definitely am an optimist, but not too, you know, toxic, positivity type level. It’s just like, I’m pragmatic. Like, okay. So that happened. What do we do now?
you know, I remember my friend, oh my gosh. My best friend had thyroid cancer and she tells the story all the time. She’s, she said you were the only person that I called and I called you right after I talked to my parents that were like, okay, So, what are we gonna do about it? Like, who are we gonna talk to? How many opinions are we gonna get? Like, when are we gonna schedule this? Like, let’s look at the numbers. Like, let’s look at like, everything was very, she’s like, you didn’t give me any moment of like victim mode and not that that, you know, everybody deserves whatever feelings they go through, but if you’re gonna come to me, I’m gonna come with like, okay, how are we fixing this?
C&D: Right. Here’s the 20 steps to get out of this.
Rachel: Exactly. Like, I, we don’t, we don’t have time for crying.
C&D: I love that. It sounds like you also gave yourself those same pep talks. Like, okay. I don’t have time for crying. Let’s pivot.
Rachel: no, no time for this. There’s no crying in baseball.
C&D: Yeah, well, how do you stay positive, inspired and motivated? I mean, you like, obviously you’re coaching other people to do that. Like how do you refuel yourself?
Rachel: Yeah, for me, like rest is just a non-negotiable and I don’t, I am not a happy person if I am unrested. And so I think that we think about self-care. We think about refueling in these, you know, ethereal concepts of like, I’m gonna go meditate on a, on a mountain for a week, but I don’t need that. My physical body is what needs the help.
So yeah, sleep is my jam. big fan. and working out. I have like, I have to move my body, which is weird because I was a sloth for like, I don’t know, 30 years. And then I, I, I realized I loved lifting and now I’m an addict and I go five days a week and I’m, I’m in so much pain right now. like a good way. Like everything hurts and I’m like, yes.
C&D: Yeah. There’s somebody that I forgot what that term is. There’s like, it’s a term of when your muscles are sore, it’s some. Medical term, but she said it’s actually addictive like that people crave and cuz she’s a personal trainer that crave that feeling like it’s something that they consistently achieve almost like a drug, like trying to get that physical muscle soreness.
Rachel: Total addict. Total. And, but like for my brain too, for me now that I’ve found something and I, I know there’s probably people that listen and think, oh my gosh, I hate working out. And maybe you just haven’t found what you love yet. But when I found it, if I don’t do it, I can feel depression. Like I can feel like it’s almost like it’s like, you know, the waters, like just seeping in, seeping in.
It’s like trying to get to me and I can feel it coming to me. It was a challenge during COVID cuz I couldn’t go to my gym and I’m not a workout from home person. I’ve always, I’ve had a Peloton as a dust collector for like three years now. Like it’s just not my jam. And so yeah, that’s, that’s what I need. I need sleep and, and weights.
C&D: Yeah. And I think what I really love about that is I, those are the two things. I think that if you were to talk to an entrepreneur, that’s what they give up the most. They give up sleep and they give up a workout or it’s something. And, and I used to work out, I used to go to like a camp gladiator thing and I quit purely because of time.
I was like, I don’t have time for it. Like I have to drive 20 minutes. It’s an hour long. I have to drive back home 20 minutes. I have to take a shower, get ready. That was my whole day off. I, me and my husband, we were talking cuz we used to work out and whatnot and we just really struggled getting back in it.
And he is like, I think we’re just lying to ourselves. So we don’t have the time. Like we do have the time cuz you make time for what you find valuable and important, which is very true. and I think that that’s something that I have to consistently remind myself too. It’s like I get into that same mindset, like, oh I don’t have time to sleep eight hours or I don’t have time to get up and even do something for 20 minutes. Like we went by for 20 minutes, go on a, go on a walk with my husband, with the dogs. Like I don’t have time for that. And it’s just, almost like a lie we tell ourselves. And I don’t know. if it’s just, again, to feel like that martyr or if it’s just laziness or I don’t know if it’s like a vicious circle of exhaustion, so you can never like, get yourself back into that mindset, but.
I do think there’s such a thing as a vicious circle of exhaustion. I have been there. And the exhaustion spiral. But I love that. That’s what you’re that? That is what reenergizes you. Cause I think that’s true for a lot of people. I can’t say it’s true for everybody, but I think for a lot of people you move your body and you rest your body and it’s what gets that mental balance.
Rachel: Yeah, I would be a mess without it. And that’s my O that’s always my question. When I talk to people who say like, they don’t have time or they don’t wanna make the time cuz they’re so busy and it’s like, how much more effective could you be?
Rachel: If you gave your body and brain what it wanted and maybe it’s not, you know what I do, maybe it’s whatever everybody else’s prescription is, but I think that’s why we be entrepreneurs. You know, it’s because we’re able to create that schedule and, and say, I’m gonna, you know, I, I, in the middle of the day, I’ll take a 10-minute nap. I’ll walk my dog. And honestly, I’m so much more productive afterwards than I was beforehand. And so, I mean, that’s why I do this. I was like I’m I don’t want anybody yelling at me.
C&D: Dictating when I can and cannot do.
Rachel: Yeah. Did you say I can’t nap at my desk? Not on the, not on my watch.
C&D: Right. so you’ve done a lot. I mean, you’ve been on the Today Show, the Good Morning America and CNN, Access Hollywood, Steve Harvey Show, the Fox News. You’ve been Ted talks. You’ve been an attorney. You’ve wrote a book. What has been the most life changing moment in your career?
Rachel: it almost makes me mad to say it, but honestly, Married at First Sight
C&D: okay. Mm
Rachel: It changed everything and it’s such a guilty pleasure. And I make it the irony that I’m saying, this is now that I’m doing a lot of corporate keynotes. Like that is my main job. I I’m always embarrassed by it. Like, there’s shame around it, like reality television and, and TV stuff and, and the romantic side of relationships.
And the irony is that I just had another call with a, a media professional who has an event coming up that I’m keynote. And she’s like, when we released that you were gonna be the keynote. Everybody got really excited because they love Married at First Sight. I’m like,
C&D: Like you’re, you’re not gonna outlive
Rachel: Yeah. Like I can’t, I can’t get rid of it, but it was also, it was such an, a life changing experience and it was such an awesome experience. I love production and I really enjoyed the show and the people that I met on it, and I’m still close with a lot of people that, were participants or production. And so, yeah, and it really did elevate my brand to a point where it changed everything for me.
C&D: So you’re not gonna ever reprise that role on that show?
Rachel: No. I, my time is, is done there. I wouldn’t, I’d never say never for TV in general. I love television. And honestly, so we just bought a house and we’re renovating, and I had pitched a show, more of like an HG TV based show. that would be interesting to me in talking about different types of relationships, familial and.
C&D: Well, we would love to end on what maybe a great piece of advice or something that you feel like is common to all the people that you’ve coached or dealt with interpersonal relationships. Like what’s something that you can say, like, works 99% of the time?
Rachel: Oh man. You know, it’s, it’s interesting because the biggest thing, and I write about this, in my book and pretty much talk about any chance I can get is, it’s so consistent. People who have challenges in their relationships, whether it’s personal or professional, it is almost always worthiness based. It is almost always confidence based.
It is almost always that part of them that says I don’t deserve this. And so the biggest thing that anybody could really start to work on. Is unraveling that and unpacking it and getting it to a place where you can understand that you are worthy of everything that you are given and everything that you are engaged in and every relationship and every professional opportunity, all of those things are completely for you.
C&D: Wow. That’s really powerful. I love that’s great. That’s so good. You set us up very well for conversations with sisters. We would love for you to tell our listeners where they can get your book, where they can find you and connect with you.
Rachel: Yeah., book is available everywhere. Books are sold. I love saying that., so yeah, I’m I it’s in stores and it’s on Amazon. So whatever your preference is, and there’s a lot of indie book sellers that are out there that do-good work and I’m Rachel DeAlto everywhere.
C&D: Awesome. All right. Well thank you so much.
Rachel: Thank you. This was super fun.
Dana: Thanks everyone for gathering us today to talk about the hustle. For our episode with Rachel, we are drinking a Guinness, and we hope we get the chance to make it this week in cheers to being relatable. To learn more and connect with Rachel, you can visit her business on Instagram @racheldealto or visit her website, racheldealto.com.
Courtney: To learn more about our hustles, you can check us out on the gram at canddevents at thebradfordnc and at hustleandgather. If you’re interested in our speaking training or consulting, please look us up at hustleandgather.com.
And if you love this show, we would be more than honored if you left us a rating and review,
Dana: This podcast is a production of Earfluence. I’m Dana
Courtney: and I’m Courtney,
Dana: and we’ll talk to you next time on Hustle and Gather.
Hustle and Gather is hosted by Courtney Hopper and Dana Kadwell, and is produced by Earfluence. Courtney and Dana’s hustles include C&D Events, Hustle and Gather, and The Bradford Wedding Venue.