You failed, now move on: Conversations with Sisters

On last week’s episode, Married at First Sight’s Rachel DeAlto talked about her times when life was going nowhere – a law career that didn’t work out, a startup that ran out of money, and a messy divorce. But she started over, pushed through, and now she’s one of the most prominent relationship experts. Today, Courtney and Dana unpack that conversation and discuss the failures where it was time for them to move on.


Courtney: Being able to go into a situation in a bold determined way   I think makes people more successful. But I think those people also fall really hard too.   like, you’re when you go in that kind of I’m all in jumping in two feet first, you know, I think it sets you up for great success, but that it, it also can set you up for great failure too.

Welcome to Hustle and Gather, a podcast about inspiring the everyday entrepreneur to take the leap. I’m Courtney 

Dana: And I’m Dana

Courtney: and we’re two sisters who have started multiple businesses together, and yes, it’s as messy as you think. We know that starting a business isn’t easy. 

Dana: I mean, we’ve done it four times. And on this show, we talk about the ups and downs of the hustle and the reward at the end of the journey. 

Courtney: And we love helping small businesses succeed, whether that is through our venue consulting, speaking, team training, we love to motivate others to take those big leaps. 

Dana: Or you can just use our misadventures to normalize the crazy that is being an entrepreneur, because every entrepreneur makes mistakes.

Courtney: And we like to call those unsuccessful attempts around here. 

Dana: And we know it’s just part of the process. And today we’re talking, just the two of us, about last week’s episode with Rachel DeAlto, a relationship and communications expert, media personality, and speaker. She’s the author of “Relatable, How to Connect with Anyone, Anywhere, even if it Scares You.”

Rachel is known as a people whisperer and has worked with many organizations and individuals worldwide, helping them to develop their leadership, improve teams and create stronger interpersonal skills. 

Courtney: All right, Dana, let’s get started. 

Dana: Let’s get started. That was a great one I love talking with her.

I know she’s so much like energy. 

Courtney: She did must be that working out and sleeping she’s doing. 

Dana: I know. 

Well, I think, I feel like the bulk of that conversation, she talked a lot about being worthy and like she talked about it and saying that she felt like that was the biggest interpersonal relationship issue is that the issue is always with someone, struggles with worthiness, its confidence based them saying like, I don’t deserve that.

I don’t deserve the success. And she’s went through that herself. Like with her survival failed and she was being successful. She’s like, I don’t, I don’t deserve this. And I’m not worthy of all the success that I’ve had because it was built on the back of something that failed and whatever. And I thought that was really, that was really powerful. Cause I think that’s such a common thing for so many people. 

Courtney: I do think that. In a lot of ways in a lot of my relationships when I’m struggling the most in my relationships, it’s because of confidence either. Like, I don’t like who I’m showing up as in that relationship   or I feel guilty about something in that relationship, or I somehow don’t feel worthy of having that relationship   or I feel inferior.

Like it could be like, almost like a, like a jealousy type attribute in that relationship.   like they have something I’m aspiring to So I definitely think all of that comes down to worthiness. And I think using it as a barometer for how you feel about yourself, you know what I mean?   and I do think, I think that now, like, I think like, as I’ve gotten older, when I’m having struggles in a relationship and I definitely have my fair share.

Whereas before it was very natural for me to be like, what is that person doing to me?   like, why is this conflict happening? Why is this strife happening? And it was very hard for me to see my part in it. But then as I’ve gotten older, I realize all I can do is control my part in it. And if I’m not bringing my best self to your relationship, it’s never going to be good.

Full Episode Transcript

Hustle and Gather is hosted by Courtney Hopper and Dana Kadwell, and is produced by Earfluence.  Courtney and Dana’s hustles include C&D Events, Hustle and Gather, and The Bradford Wedding Venue.

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